On Wed, 23 Feb 2000, Gryffyd Dempsey wrote:

> Amanda Lowery wrote:
> 
> > Point taken.  So what if the infected astronaut(s) is/are alive and
> > transmitting until something relatively mundane causes ground 
> > control to lose contact with the ship at some point, including vital 
> > signs telemetry?
> 
> Maybe the vector shouldn't be the astronauts themselves but the Big Macs
> they've brought along?  It's the new virally-yummified Big Macs which spread
> pestilence and intestinal-sloughing once they return to earth, with a few
> infected Big Macs left in their lunch boxes and everybody is happy and
> celebrating so Ground Control and the marsonauts celebrate with Big Macs and
> the Big Macs get switched and the pimply-faced kid no-one likes eats a whole
> passel of them Big Macs and his eyeballs turn red, ominously, as he watches
> the cute mission specialist who won't give him the time o' day daintily
> eating Big Macs with the hunky astronauts, who are eating Big Macs.  I mean,
> who can resist a Big Mac?  Plus you got your product placement there
> already.

This is truly beautiful.  *weeps*

The shot of the space probe sitting there on Mars with a Big Mac stuck
into the works... wow!  And then a marsonaut is out going to fetch the
samplifications and he.. no, she... happens to notice the Big Mac which
has been festering under the hard radiation for a while, she takes it back
and CHUH-HAWP! eats it up, YUM!  And it makes her really warm and
sweatylike and the only thing to do then is get laid in the shower.

And there's some of the Eeeevil Big Mac left over so she puts it in the
Space Fridge and the little virus guys, who all have Eastern European
accents, emerge and infect all of the other Big Macs.  Of course they only
eat Big Macs, this is a trip to Mars and they need the energy.

> Or substitute Garden Burgers for the vegetarians.

You mean for the little wusses.
 
> Will you have a scene like that in _Hot Zone_, with the victims crashing out
> and the sound like a sheet ripping as their liquefying intestines are
> forcibly expelled through their anuses, their blood a black stew of viral
> particles, their skins a yellowing bruise, their voices a vomitous burble?

Oooohhhhh  *weeps in utter joy at the thought*

And... and... can we have it so that at least once, all the filth that
falls out of the victim's asshole starts slithering away under its own
volition?

All this, of course, if Amanda and Rich and Unnamed Others Who Probably
Don't Really Exist want to make a funschlock movie and not an actualgood
movie.

Jim

James S. Coleman Battista
Ph.D. candidate, Dept. of Political Science, Duke Univ.
james.battista@duke.edu	                  (919)967-9171
A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man -- J. Springfield